Two weekends ago I had both the joy and the privilege to take part in a custom GORUCK Light event. The event was a surprise for Fergus… the founder of TRVLSQD. I must say we did an incredible job keeping this thing hush-hush and, as you can read from Fergus’s post, he didn’t have a clue.
I’m not going to write a long winded play by play AAR for this event. Instead, I’ll talk about all of the incredibly memorable aspects that made this thing so special.
Everyone knew what we were there for. We had all paid the money, packed our rucks, and were ready for a GORUCK Light. Everyone, that is, except Fergus. Fergus had no freaking idea so watching his face the entire time at the beginning was gold. There’s just no better way to say it. It’s just one of those things… when everyone except one person knows something and you watch them realize it… it’s hard to beat those moments.
Thad aka Farva
Pre-event there had been a Facebook page set to private for us all to figure out how the surprise was going to work. Both Cadre were there and so was one of my good friends Thad aka Farva. Now Thad aka Farva is good at starting trouble… that’s the best way to say it. It seemed like he has been working on his PhotoShop skills because there were a number of lewd images surfacing in that group. Not to be beaten, Cadre Rich showed up to the event with a giant bottle of sugar-free maple syrup. As far as I know the only thing in syrup is sugar so I’m very confused as to what this bottle contained. Cadre Rich called Thad up to the front and since Thad is a police officer we were all instructed to call him Farva (from Super Troopers) for the remainder of the event. What’s more Thad had to finish that entire bottle of maple syrup during the event.
In an effort to show Cadre Rich up Thad aka Farva downed the entire bottle right then and there. I’m not sure if maple syrup drinking is something that comes naturally to police officers (do they have a class on that?) but he looked like a pro. I’ll never forget the look in Rich’s eyes when he said, “I figured that would happen… so I brought you some mustard as well.” Throughout the next one to two hours Thad aka Farva successfully downed that bottle of mustard.
I have no idea how he completed either of those feats but all I can say is I’m glad I didn’t have to be the one to do that. Something tells me he won’t be eating pancakes for weeks.
Cadre Ed Hall loves music. That’s a fact. Someday maybe he’ll be a conductor or something… as you can see in the above picture he sure seems to love conducting. Every time I’ve done an event with him he has brought along some music making device and this time was no different. One of his requirements was that we all show up to the event with the song Wrecking Ball memorized. I’m not going to link to the song or even suggest that you go and find it because it’s horrific. That being said we all memorized it (or used lyric sheets) and were instructed to belt it out in the middle of Green Lake. There’s nothing like yelling out one of history’s worst songs at the top of your lungs while everyone looks on. The silver lining was that every time words “I came in like a wrecking ball” were sang Cadre Ed Hall would leap over us and cannon ball into the water. That was definitely the silver lining to that horrific cloud that is wrecking ball.
Some people didn’t sing loud enough. That’s life sometimes and those people got a mouth full of water. Everyone has to pay the piper and you can either do it by singing or by trying not to swallow mouthfuls of garbage water. Sometimes you sing loud and still get to swallow water… I guess life isn’t fair sometimes.
I may have forgotten to mention this but one of our required pieces of gear was a squirt gun. We’re rucking all through the city with these squirt guns minding all own business and out of this under bridge comes bursts of water. We were ambushed by the children of the cadre and some of the participants. It was definitely one of those attention to detail moments that we should have been ready for. We have no photographic evidence of this ambush but the above picture was taken maybe 5 minutes before it occurred and yes those are my boots between the legs.
What would a party be without balloons? And what would balloons be without a ridiculous game? Let’s play a game called blow up balloons until they pop then the losing team has to run around a tree but since we’re one big team family we all get to run. It will be fun I promise :)
Ambush City: Revenge
After some more solid rucking we ended up near Gas Works park. It was here that we were destined to get our revenge on those children. They were up on this hill and we formulated a plan to take one of them as prisoner. Running a two prong attack set off by a high pitched rape whistle is quite the sight to see… and I’m sure lots of onlookers had good stories to tell around the dinner table that night. It was a blast executing the operation and definitely something that I won’t be forgetting.
At the very end of the event we had a huge BBQ with tons and tons of food. There was dessert and speeches and all that other fun stuff that comes along with a birthday event of this size. We ate until we were full and then a little bit more. There’s nothing like celebrating a guy who has done so much for all of us and this was the perfect way to do that.
This event was a complete blast and I just want to say thank you to everyone who helped make it possible.